Jaded: The First Cut is the Deepest Read online

  Acknowledgements

  Hello all! Thanks again for believing in me to the point where I am able to continue expanding on my African American urban fiction franchise. The process in writing the Jaded spin-off material was quite different from the Homie. Lover. Friend.era and took me a total of six months to write, with the majority of this time being spent in solitude. I felt it was important to stay creatively in tune with my own feelings in order to actively portray the characters without influence from outside resources. This is not, I repeat, this is NOT the sequel to H.L.F. but does include some familiar faces to help the reader get comfortable with a new host of individuals, each with their own personal struggles. (Don’t worry H.L.F. PT. 2 is coming soon) As usual, I’d like to thank God, my family, friends as well as Delphine Publications for giving me the opportunity to reach a larger crowd of people who may not have even heard of my work. I’d also like to thank my school Hampton University for assisting me with the tools to properly tell Ivory Carter’s story using the knowledge I’ve gained through my process in the counseling program. (Look HU, we made it lol) Anyway, I hope you guys enjoy this work as much as I did, feel free to let me know your thoughts through my email [email protected] or contact me through my author’s page on Facebook. Cheers to a new year!!!!

  This

  agony

  Inside of me

  Knaws at my bones

  Oh, how I once had everything but ended up alone

  Memories fade

  Desperately trying to evade

  Seeing you for who you are

  And calling a spade a spade

  But there is…

  Bravery in my silence

  Masked by a smile

  Benign on the surface

  But on the inside, deadly and vile

  Bitter isn’t the type of coffee I like to drink

  Although it’s something similar once given the time to think

  Sticks and stone may break my bones

  But your lies have hurt the most

  Though what I have in store for you

  Is worthy of a toast

  Jaded

  - Ivory

  CHAPTER 1“How could he do this to me?”

  I downed the last swig of chilled Merlot and sat on the edge of my bed, staring in the mirror while Rihanna hummed “Needed me” through the speakers.

  My normally pretty and composed image stared back at me looking worn and tattered due to almost a week of crying in my grey satin PJ’s.

  Eyes were swollen and hair unkempt.

  It’s amazing how quickly life can throw you for an UN-FUCKING-BELIEVABLE loop.

  Before this point in my life, it was perfect.

  When I say “IT”, I mean everything.

  I had my loving and successful husband Pierce.

  My five-year-old son Junior who was the spitting image of his father.

  A career as a relationship therapist that I had spent years going to school for.

  I was literally in love with my life until “IT” happened. Only this time when I say “IT” I mean the stupid bitch who had the nerve to show up to my job claiming she was seven months pregnant with my husband’s child.

  I can’t blame her for wanting my husband, he was a fine six-foot, hazel eyed light-skin brother who was family oriented with a great head on his shoulders. A rare combination to find in the African American community.

  I remember Momma telling me that although she adored Pierce, there was something about him that reminded her of Daddy and that I should keep one eye open at all times.

  My ass should have listened.

  At first when Shauntae told me the news, I laughed at her ridiculous attempt to make me apart of her ghetto soap opera.

  That is until she had the receipts to back it up. Phone calls, text messages, Instagram posts, snapchat videos and other evidence of social media were available for me to view. My husband had the nerve to have a full-fledged relationship with this trick! I wanted to fight her right there in the lobby of the counseling center but because I am way too classy to scrap over a man, I decided on the alternative, pulled her to a quiet corner and told her that I would speak with my husband about the matter but she could certainly “kiss my ass” until further notice. After she had refused to leave, I had security escort her off the premises while I completed my shift and called my best-friend Myla to help me pack Pierce’s shit.

  Later that night when I broke the news to him, he remained in obstinate denial until I showed him the same proof that was shown to me.

  Fast forward to the present and here I am, a brokenhearted, bruised and angry woman with only the memories of my perfect life to keep me sane.

  “Ivory!” Myla called as she jingled the knob to my two-story dwelling.

  I could hear her spare key opening the door and her feet coming up the steps while I tried to compose myself with what little time I had left.

  She reached the entrance to my bedroom faster than I expected, seeing me just as the mirror had. A hot ass mess.

  “Bitch!” Myla exclaimed looking stunned at what stood before her. “I know things ain’t looking too hot in your life right now but damn.”

  She covered her nose at the stench that filled them.

  I hadn’t eaten or showered much since I came home from work and kicked my husband out of our five-hundred-thousand-dollar home.

  “Myla please don’t give me any lip.” I slurred using a rubber-band to hold back a makeshift ponytail. “I told you I’d be okay, just needed some time to sulk.”

  “Well I think a week of sulking alone and being cooped up in your bedroom drunk is enough time. You can’t heal if you are focusing on the hurt. Besides, Junior misses his Mommy and keeps telling me that my cooking is bad.”

  Myla chucked and walked over to help me off the bed.

  I had Junior stay with Myla at her mother’s house for a few days while I ironed out my feelings because doing that and keeping up with my overactive son seemed damn near impossible.

  “You just want me to take Junior back because you can’t go out and joyride with your gold-toothed boyfriends.” I joked, leaning on Myla for support as she helped me into the bathroom.

  “Girl please, you know that hood-star life is far behind me.”

  I looked into my best-friend’s eyes and could see the sincerity in her words.

  From the time we had met at 16, I was always the more rational, mild-mannered, and put-together of the two. The straight A college student who continued an education to the PH. D level while Myla spent her time smoking weed and “hosting clubs” as she would say. Back then, she used her curly hair, high yellow skin, deep brown eyes and hourglass shape for ballers and thousand dollar checks. Hell, she’s paid for my college tuition TWICE.

  It still amazed me that the person that stood before me was once a lover of body suits and revealing outfits. Myla now adorned herself in what most would call an Afrocentric aesthetic; free-flowing brown dread locks, tie-dye shirts and fashion-forward holy jeans.

  “I’m trying, I’m trying. You don’t know what it feels like to have your whole life ripped from up under you.”

  I grabbed my toothbrush and brushed my teeth while she ran a hot bath for me.

  “You’re right, I don’t. But I know what it feels like to be betrayed by a man. You’ll get through this Ivory. WE will get through this.”

  Myla added bath salts to the tub and left me to rid myself of the filth that had become my depressed life.

  Although I knew the physical could never keep a man, I couldn’t seem to fathom how Pierce could overlook my petite frame, umber colored skin, deep-set eyes, and long flowing locks. I was a Naomi Campbell co
mpared to the bitch that showed up at my office.

  With that cheap ass Fantasia wig!

  I dipped my toes in the water and could already feel a sense of calm.

  Once I was fully immersed in the bubbly foam, I closed my eyes and prepared myself for the changes that were to occur. I still had a week of paid time off to get my thoughts and priorities in order.

  Guess it pays to be a workaholic.

  Before my mind could wander into the technicalities of child support, alimony, and spousal support, my son Pierce Jr. burst in the bathroom.

  “Mommy, Mommy!” he squealed, running over to give me a hug.

  I jumped out of surprise and used my arms to cover my breasts.

  “Hey baby, I missed you.”

  I kissed him on his left cheek as I gave him the once over.

  Junior looked so cute in his little red polo shirt and beige cargos. I preferred him in children’s graphic tees but Pierce insisted that our son grow out of the Elmo stage.

  “How was time with Auntie My-My?”

  “Good.”

  His pale cheeks flared of red which let me know there was more to the story.

  “What’d you guys do?” I asked slyly.

  “Um…”

  I could see his little head thinking of what to tell.

  “We went to the movies, out to eat, laser-tag, and Daddy came by to… Oops.”

  Junior covered his mouth to hide his shame. My son may look exactly like his Dad but they were opposites when it came to the art of lying.

  “Daddy came by to what?” I said behind clenched teeth.

  He wasn’t fully aware of everything that happened between his father and me so I did my best to hide the anger of hearing about his presence.

  “Daddy came by to...”

  “Hey buddy! Leave your Mommy to herself so she can finish her bath. I got cartoons playing downstairs.”

  Myla ran upstairs in just enough time to save her ass as Junior headed to the living room.

  “Daddy came by to what Myla?!”

  I was fuming with rage.

  “Now Ivory, I know Pierce is a piece of shit for what he did to you but Junior was begging to see the man.” Myla reasoned, quietly closing the door so we would be out of earshot.

  “What did he come by for?”

  I scrubbed at my skin which was slowly returning to its original glow.

  “He just came by to see Pierce and drop off some money, no big deal. You know if it was anything more than that, I’d let a bitch know.”

  Myla knelt down by the tub to wash my hair.

  “I don’t care what he came over for. I don’t want him around my son until I figure out what I’m gonna do. Why would you let him over the house?”

  “He kept blowing my damn phone up while I was tryna study. A girl needs all the time she can get looking over her notes.”

  Myla was a semester away from graduating with her associates at Seattle University as a criminal justice major.

  Hopefully this career path will last and keep her out of the devil’s pockets!

  “Yeah, well as a law student you should know that court proceedings rely heavily on information before and during the case.”

  She finished my hair and went to get me a towel and clothes.

  “You really think you and Pierce will need to go to court for custody?”

  “I didn’t think Pierce would cheat on me and knock another woman up so your guess is as good as mine.” I commented, rising out of the tub and drying myself. “Can you take Junior to your Mom’s again tonight? I want to rest some more.”

  “Oh no you don't!” Myla nagged, wagging her finger. “As of today you are done moping around we are going out tonight.”

  “Tonight?”

  I frowned.

  “Yes, tonight. I already told Ma the situation and she is more than happy to watch her God baby. My old friend Roland is in town on business and wants to hang.”

  I winced as I put on a loose fitting pink tee and some jean shorts.

  “How come I’ve never heard of this old friend?”

  I remained skeptical of Myla’s motives from time to time because of her checkered past.

  “Relax. He used frequent one of the clubs I promoted back in the day. He’s like a brother to me. We’ve never messed around.”

  I gave her a side eye and waited for the truth.

  “Okay, maybe once but it’s all good. He has a fiancé now and I have taken myself off the market. C'mon, it will be fun.”

  I exhaled and remained silent while I weighed my options.

  “Go mommy! It will be fun.” Junior shouted from the other side of the door.

  I giggled at his nosiness.

  “You need to get out of this depressing ass house girl.”

  “Okay, looks like it’s two against one; I’ll go. I don’t know what I’m gonna wear though.”

  “I’m sure we can find something.” Myla beamed as she grabbed me by the hand and trotted over to one of my walk-in closets.

  Even though I didn’t feel like go anywhere, I knew deep down inside I needed to do something ANYTHING to keep me from going crazy in my current predicament. Little did I know that the night that was meant to bring me solace would be the night to change my life.

  Forever.

  CHAPTER 2

  “Myla, I’m not so sure about this.” I remarked nervously as I checked my mulberry lipstick for the third time since we arrived in front of the club.

  She had agreed for us to meet Roland and a friend of his at a Caribbean club called The Baltic Room.

  “If you check that mouth one more time.” Myla smacked her lips and adjusted her breasts through her cerulean halter dress. “You will have fun tonight whether I have to force you to or not.”

  I looked down at my own fuchsia crop top and black paper bag pant. Even though I wanted to go for something more conservative, she insisted that I dress less like the counselor I was and more like a newly single woman.

  “You know I get a little anxious when I meet new people.” I responded, closing the passenger’s side mirror and grabbing my clutch. “You didn’t tell me he was bringing a friend.”

  “Well I mean I assumed it was a given seeing as he invited the both of us out. No one likes to feel like the third wheel.”

  Myla checked her phone and chuckled at what looked like a text message from Roland.

  “I was the third wheel in my marriage and didn’t even know it.” I commented bitterly, crossing my arms over my chest.

  “We will have none of that negative talk you hear me.” Myla gave me a nod of approval and smiled. “You look too good tonight to be out here actin salty and fix your face, it looks unapproachable.”

  I threw my hands up in surrender.

  “Alright admiral damn! Any other instructions before I am let off the ship?”

  “If I have any other instructions I will let you know.” She pressed the car lock to let us out. “C’mon they are already inside.”

  I followed Myla into the club entrance as we weaved through almost a hundred people of all different levels of intoxication.

  The Baltic Room had a three story setup with different themes on each floor. The bottom level was filled with the type of lights and music that could tempt the most religious of people to dance the night away. Since her friend told us that he was on the third floor, we breezed through the pub-like second floor and found ourselves waiting to be seated amongst the numerous dining tables that the top floor had to offer.

  “He’s in the VIP section.” Myla instructed, squinting her eyes to find a seat. “There he is.”

  As we walked over to Roland’s table, I couldn’t help but notice the usage of destressed wood flooring and dark wall paneling. Each table held opaque candle holders that illuminated a sexy red glow.

  “Myla, still beautiful I see.” A debonair looking dark-skinned man commented. I assumed this was her friend because of the Sinicism hidden behind his smile. He was just as she descri
bed, tall and bald-headed, with a pretty smile and scar above the eyebrow.

  “Still a flirt I see.” Myla countered, giving him a deep hug. “This is the friend I was telling you about, her name is Ivory.”

  “Ivory Carter” I finished.

  Roland gave me his hand to shake.

  “Lovely name for a lovely lady. If I was back in my heyday, you and I would have probably met a little sooner.”

  “I doubt it.” I sneered.

  Myla held a stoic smile and nudged me on the shoulder.

  “She doubts it because she wasn’t apart of the scene like I was. Damn that was a long time ago when we first met. Almost six years if I’m not mistaken.”

  “You aren’t. Time goes by fast when you are successful and having the time of your life doing it.”

  He gave a hardy laugh and ushered us to sit down.

  When the waiter arrived, he gave us our menus and placed four glasses of water on the table.

  “You guys ready to order?” The young man asked, eagerly holding his pen and pad.

  “Give us just one moment; we are waiting on the fourth guest.” Roland answered, winking at Myla while she giggled.

  If this was an attempt to set me up after only a week of being single from a marriage, they were out of their rabbit ass minds!

  “So what brings you to the charming city of Seattle, Washington anyway? I heard it was for a business venture.” I pried, squeezing lemon into my ice water.

  “Mm a little business, a little pleasure.” Roland licked his lips. “My store Wholesale for Sale is expanding its local Atlanta diversity to other select cities, this being one of them.”

  Myla leaned forward, enthralled by his rising success and/or good looks. I couldn’t tell which.

  “That’s really great. Promoting health in this city should be easy considering how active we already are. How soon do you plan on setting up shop here?”

  “I already have.”

  Roland took a break from the conversation to sip his water.

  “As I’m sure Myla has told you, I am unable to move down here because of the old ball and chain but I do have someone I trust that is willing to oversee my projects.”

  While Roland continued to speak about his business, I noticed a woman approaching our table from my peripheral.